10 Stephen Hawking quotes - stand aside Chuck Norris, you're no match!

From time to time I get the feeling that some people think I am a Geek... After all, I like computers, I love complex equations, I have a doctorate in Strong Artificial Intelligence and Neuroscience...

BUT, then I am reminded that my _geekiness_ is nothing compared to some of the world's UBER Geeks!

Stand aside Church Norris, I have just reassigned your spot to a new superhero... Stephen Hawking! Not only is he a genius, he's also got a great sense of humour!

taken from here.

I have recently been reading up a bit on the life and work of British theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking. In my reading, I have run across a number of his famous quotes that are both funny and insightful. He is widely considered to be among the most intelligent people living today. Here is what he has to say...

10. "Einstein was wrong when he said "God does not play dice". Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that God does play dice, but that He sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can't be seen."

9. "I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."

8. "My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all."

7. "I find that American & Scandinavian accents work better with women." In response to a question about the American accent of his synthesiser.

6. "Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. In the end, however, I did put in one equation, Einstein's famous equation, E = mc2. I hope that this will not scare off half of my potential readers."

5. "My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus."

4. "To show this diagram properly, I would really need a four dimensional screen. However, because of government cuts, we could manage to provide only a two dimensional screen."

3. "Life would be tragic if it weren't funny."

2. "The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired."

1. "Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end."

[Pic] Bike Helmet Protects Child From Helmet-Inspired Beating...

ha ha! This is hilarious! I love 'the onion', they have quite a wacky outlook on the news!

I had a few beatings in my childhood inspired by clothes, haircuts, and antics, that my family put me up to... How about you?

The headline (and benign picture) in this post come from the onion print edition.

I touched a raw nerve! The flame war has begun! Read about the unhappy critics here.

I have been blogging since June 2005. I have never had GREAT traffic to my site. Simply, I guess, because I am more interested in having fun with the posts, working out my thoughts, soliciting responses, and having a bit of fun.

This last week I posted a link that I found on digg.com it was called "10 degrees that you wouldn't want your child to study towards". It is intended to be fun! First, it is fun because I understand the kind of looks (and thoughts) that people give when they hear I have a doctorate in theology and science (strong what? artificial who?) ha ha! But, it is also fun because I end the post by poking fun at myself (listing a fake copy of a degree that people often regard as more valuable than my ACTUAL doctorate - a JEDI PhD in science from MIT).

However, this post has touched a raw nerve somewhere since I have had two flames in the last few days (the first two EVER!). Take a look at the post and the comments here:

First, there was a lady from one of the Universities mentioned who said that I was disrespectful to the academy (as if it has some holy order or code that forbids criticism) - she concluded with a warning, saying that anyone who dares to be critical (even in a joking way) of fellow academics had better watch out and have huge.... Well you know what I mean. Then, this evening I got notification of a second post from someone who wished me "and my cancers" a happy life! Heck, who would actually write something like that!? Can't folks like this tell that not everything is meant to be taken so seriously!

So, to all those people who are offended by fun... Please don't be! Please! I will try not to take offense at your replies either! I have never deleted a comment from my blog (unless the author has asked me to do so). I won't delete your comments - so if you want to take the time to "flame" me, I will simply say 'thanks for spending a portion of your precious life thinking about me! I value and appreciate your time and your thoughts!' The gift of your time and thoughts are precious. Let the fun continue!!

Viral Video of the moment: A hilarious parody of those lame informercials - buy Gabe and Max's 'internet'

Gabe and Max are REAL geniuses! They have changed my life!! They taught me all about the intrawebs on a CD-ROM near you... They upgraded my computer to MS DOS 5 and set my world on fire! Just today I received a whole email in the post, it was printed on good quality paper and everything! All of your internets are pwned by my l33t sErva$!

Ha ha! Watch this hilarious video by Gabe and Max! It is a parody of those lame 'Change your life now, start a business from home, and impress all the ladies [or gents, as the case may be] in 423 steps'

technorati tags: viral video, Max and Gabe, Intraweb

The funniest video of George W Bush!

This has to be one of the funniest comedy clips about George W Bush!

Sorry GW! If it makes you feel any better, I know that there are people who poke fun at me!

Technorati tags: Bush, funny, video, George Bush

The FUNNIEST joke you've ever heard! Read it! It's make your day!!!

I' always in need of a little bit of cheer! So, today I heard this WONDERFUL joke!

It is the funniest thing I have heard all day....

Are you ready???

Here it is:

How do you kill a circus?

You go straight for the juggler!!

Ha ha! Corny, I know....

Technorati tags: joke, circus, corny, funny

Geekier than thou!

Today I realised just what a Geek I am. I overheard my daughter trying to explain to her friends that her Daddy is a Doctor, but not a Doctor who operates on people, no, her daddy reads books, looks at people's brains, teaches people, and loves computers....

Yup, even my daughter thinks I am Doctor Geek. Well, in 2007 there is nothing cooler than being a Geek! The world is changing! Girls used to love football players, now they love the guy who can operate their Personal Video Recorder, hack the local municipality computer to squash their traffic fines, and who is geeky enough to work for Apple, Google or Microsoft (in that order) and get the BIG MONEY!

You may remember this wonderful cartoon that I blogged about a year and half ago (June 2005)? It illustrates that Geeks rule in the new world!

So, to remind you of that, I thought I would use this fallow time between Christmas and New year to share a few Geek quotes... Learn these and you'll be off to a good Geek start for 2007. They come from here.

Top 10 Geek Quotes:
1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. - Unknown

2. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0 - T-Shirt

3. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips." - Unknown

4. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard. - Unknown

5. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 a l1f3 - tee shirt

6. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly - T-Shirt

7. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Unknown

8. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Unknown

9. This one's my favourite! I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
- Unknown

10. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. - Unknown

There you have it... If you understand more than 5 of these you're a Geek. If you understand number 1, you're rated an UBER Geek (with ubermicro.... See www.purpwnage.com for more on ubermicro). However, based on my daughter, I am Geekier than thou!

Any other UberGeeks out there!? Any better quotes? I'd love to hear from you! The comments button is just a mouse click away.

PS. The title for this post, and the cartoon, come from a great website called geek culture... I bought a few pins and T-Shirts from them. They also have a fantastic daily cartoon!