The breakdown of social control and the democratization of intimacy

I remember when I was conscripted into the army more than two decades ago. I went into social isolation - it was long before cell phones and the remote military base where I was trained only had one working public telephone for the few hundred troops stationed there.

I forgot my birthday that year! The 14th of January came and went... It was some days later when I met the only other guy from my town at the dining hall when I realised that I had turned a year older.  Because I was completely cut off from my regular social circle during my basic training I had no concept of the social milestones of life.

This is an extreme example, but in reality contemporary society is shaped towards social control.  Pre-schools for infant children are little more than places in which children are lovingly (I hope!) taught to endure longer and longer periods of isolation from their regular social circle.  The children learn to be away from their families for extended periods of time.  They also learn to perform tasks that will make them a productive part of society at some point. Primary and secondary schooling takes this a step further (children dress in a uniform to differentiate them from home, they are ranked in classes and groups according to their language, age, and even intellect - all the while they are punished for using cell phones to phone or text friends and parents). Of course the workplace is another setting that enforces social control.  How many companies do you know that do not allow social networking technologies, such as instant messaging, skype, and facebook and such tools? With the advent of separate working and living areas people often leave their familiar surroundings behind for hours at a time (perhaps most of their waking hours) to enter into an environment that is not geared towards social support and intimacy.  The workplace is intended to restrict such distractions.  Sometimes there are safety concerns, but most often it has to do with productivity and finance.

However, with the rise of accessible social media technologies I have seen a remarkable trend towards the democratization of intimacy - what does this mean?  Well, let me give you an example.  This morning I arrived at my office at 5.45 AM.  I had an early meeting - however, at 7.30 AM I pulled myself aside and used my cellular phone to call my wife and children at home to 'connect' with them and wish them well for the day.  I was taking back my need for intimacy with my family.

I frequently travel (this weekend I shall be in Johannesburg, and in just over a week I shall be in Hong Kong and China for a week).  Skype makes this much more bearable!  It started for me back in 2005 when I was on a sabbatical in America.  While staying on the Duke University Campus in North Carolina I would connect my Apple Powerbook via wifi and use iChat (I have of course since moved onto Skype) to connect with my wife and infant daughter back in South Africa.  We would leave the video camera running as I worked, ate my meals, watched TV etc. My wife and daughter would go about their daily tasks.  It was almost as if we were in the same room!  We could see and hear one another, yet we were separated by thousands of miles!

More recently since my son was born I have truly come to appreciate this technology anew - for some years he was too young to talk on the phone.  Video conferencing (that is mostly FREE!) is an incredible way to cultivate and sustain a relationship when one has to be away from home - particularly when your son is too young to talk.

Of course there are many other ways in which people are subverting social control and 'taking back' intimacy! Text messaging is perhaps one of the most pervasive forms of 'communication technology'.  It is affordable and has a very broad reach (most people have cellular phones). For the wealthier population, facebook, twitter and other such social networking tools seem to be mechanisms of choice.

I wonder how long it will be before corporations realise that you can't stop people from connecting with one another; soon we will move from separating workers from their lives, towards integrating their intimacy needs with their family into a healthy working environment. I know that Google, for example, provides on site child care, flexible working hours and other such benefits to help staff deliver their best work while keeping this social balance.

The sociologist - Stefana Broadbent - did an amazing talk on this topic of social networking and intimacy at TED. It is well worth watching.  Her research shows how people are taking back intimacy in a world of social control. 

I'd love to hear how you keep contact with your family and friends in spite of the constraints of social control. What works best for you?  Is it the trusty old phone call, or do you use text messaging, skype, or even Apple's 'facetime'? I know a few people who have turned to Blackberry Messenger of late, and of course for those of us in the iPhone 'Whatsapp' is a great IM alternative!

Connecting 'offline' people to 'online' conversations. Help needed!

One of the tasks that I help with in preparing for the next Lausanne Congress on world evangelization, that is taking place in Cape Town in October 2010, is the social media strategy.

I have a small team with which I work to try and connect people and issues - in particular I try to give a platform to people who are doing stuff, or developing theology, around the concerns of Lausanne.  I also try to make sure that some of the great content that is produced by top notch Christian leaders and theologians becomes accessible to as many people as possible.

In order to do this we make use of some of the traditional 'social media' tools.  Basically, there is only one tool - create relationships with people!  But we use a few platforms to do this.

We have a twitter feed, a facebook page, blogs (here and here), and a fantastic website.

This is all great, and we get quite a lot of interaction around the issues and the content.  At the end of the day I know that we would rather connect people with passion around the stuff they're already doing, than trying to create a passion for some of the stuff we want to do (that they're already doing in their own ministries).  Connection is key!

However, ministry and theology (particularly global ministry and global theology) requires a much more significant level of awareness and connection!  Some of the great mistakes of ministry organisations and theologians come from not understanding contexts other than their own.  In some contexts proclaiming truths about God's love may work, but in other contexts people will not accept such propositions of truth until they have an experience of love.  For example it is difficult to say that God is just when you encounter people who have only every experienced injustice - working for justice may be one of the most powerful 'sermons' you could preach without using a single word.

So, here's my problem, as with most of the theology and strategy in the global Church, those who have 'voices' and 'access' are heard most clearly and loudly.  How do we connect people from the offline world to people from the online world?

I have an idea that the pervasive nature of cell phones may be a key (see this post from Tony Whittaker, and see this great mobile website platform for ministry and evangelism from Crux). 

I know that email is more accessible in some parts of the world than internet access, so that may be another key (i.e., creating a to and fro engagement between the West and the South via email - when I was the Dean of John Wesley College in Pretoria we had quite a bit of success with this when we connected our students in South Africa with students at Duke Divinity school).

Then of course there is real world connection (sending visitors and receiving visitors from various parts of the world).  But, this is costly!

Have you got any ideas how one could connect people across the 'digital divide'?  It's for the sake of the whole Gospel to the whole World!

Please leave a comment or some insight below!

iPhone.... STILL want one! Why?! Because iLike!

Yesterday Pete Kropman poked me on facebook (no, that's not rude... If you don't understand it you're starting to get old!) and wrote on my wall (no that's not illegal in facebook) to ask if I had been watching the Apple WWDC (that's the Apple World Wide Developers Conference) keynote.

I had not... I have been marking (that's 'grading' for the yanks) first year ethics scripts... About 200 of them.

However, this morning my friend Arthur sent me a link to this youtube video about the iPhone....

Art! Impersonation is the sincerest form of flattery!!!! I still want an iPhone... Mainly to use as sideburns and a cheese grater (watch . Heck if I wanted to make phone calls I would use a land line... Remember those!?

So, the moral of the story is: Save your shekels for an iPhone, Oh, and look me up on facebook. Surprisingly, my name is Dion Forster... And I'm too old to be on facebook....

NOW, just a quick note to say that I am preparing a post on little Liam's baptism that took place this last Sunday. It was a truly special evening. We were able to give thanks to God for his miraculous life, and dedicate ourselves to caring for him and raising him in a manner fitting of a Christian family.

I'll post some thoughts, photos, and a reflection in the next couple of days.

Some of you already know that I am facing a bit of uncertainty this week. I go under the knife, so to speak, on Thursday for surgery and a few tests. Please pray for me even if you don't know what it is about. News will follow.