Realistic elongation and your perfect day.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 4:56PM Work-Life balance is an important topic. I hardly know a person who does not struggle with some aspect of it. There are some who need the rest because they work too hard, and others who long for work to be able to pay their bills and meet their obligations.
In my own life I have constantly struggled with work-life balance. The real misnomer in that is of course that work is part of life! It is not as if I balance my work off against my life. The two are one. However, what I constantly battle with is finding a realistic rhythm that can sustain the needs of my family (and my own physical and ego needs) yet allow enough space and time for true and authentic life with my God, wife, children, and friends. I never have enough time for deep prayer, uninterrupted and unhurried conversation with my wife and kids. I seldom feel energized or free enough to truly be free for play. Even when I am not working I am thinking about work.
I have some friends who strive for absolute freedom. This is a wonderful desire, but I think that it could disconnect one from your what is realistically possible. It is not possible to live one's life without making some measure of compromise towards the needs, desires and demands of others. As a parent I have had to learn that my sleep patterns are less important than my children's sleep patterns. As a husband I have had to learn that my mood and desire frequently need to give way to my wife's needs and mood. As a citizen of a country I have had to learn that my will must sometimes take a back seat to the greater will of the people.
Realistic compromise is the name of game! Now of course you don't want to compromise to such an extent that you never achieve what you want or need - I had a relative who died before he retired because he had planned to 'start living' when he had enough money to do so. That is the opposite extreme.
Nigel Marsh (tip of the hat to my psychologist friend Phil Collier who pointed this talk out to me!), the author of the wonderful book 'Overworked underlaid' (no that is not a typo), presents this very informative TEDx Talk, in which he discusses the delicate balance between work and daily life. He offers the following advice (well, at least this is what I gleaned from his talk as 'advice'):
- Write out your ideal day.
- Then realise that it is unlikely that you will have that specific day too often.
- Then plan to 'live' the elements of that day over a realistic time span.
In other words plan a 'realistic elongation' of your ideal day! By doing this you will have some plan to work towards that removes the pressure of having to have a perfect day, every day. At the same time you should have measurable instances of blessing, freedom and unhindered choice. Yet, you will also allow enough space to fit your life into the lives of others. This concession is not only necessary, I believe that in the long term we shall find that we cannot simply live our lives for ourselves. Some of the most rewarding experiences I've had in life are things that I would not necessarily have chosen for myself. Yet, by 'giving' a little I have met wonderful people, learned new things and seen magnificent places.
What do you think? How do you manage 'work life balance'?
Reader Comments (1)
Merlin Mann blogged the following hilarious list about work (or at least working too hard!)
See http://digitaldion.tumblr.com/post/3201570013/what-your-16-hour-workday-says-about-you
You’re a really hard worker
Your time is poorly managed
You don’t know what to do with your life
Your boss knows you’re gullible
At least 40% of your diet consists of pre-packaged food
You send out work emails at inappropriate hours
You have no perspective on life
You don’t sleep enough for proper brain function
You have very little self-respect
Your salary should be higher, but isn’t
You drink either too much or not enough
(via merlin)