Realistic elongation and your perfect day.

Work-Life balance is an important topic.  I hardly know a person who does not struggle with some aspect of it.  There are some who need the rest because they work too hard, and others who long for work to be able to pay their bills and meet their obligations.

In my own life I have constantly struggled with work-life balance.  The real misnomer in that is of course that work is part of life!  It is not as if I balance my work off against my life.  The two are one.  However, what I constantly battle with is finding a realistic rhythm that can sustain the needs of my family (and my own physical and ego needs) yet allow enough space and time for true and authentic life with my God, wife, children, and friends.  I never have enough time for deep prayer, uninterrupted and unhurried conversation with my wife and kids.  I seldom feel energized or free enough to truly be free for play.  Even when I am not working I am thinking about work.

I have some friends who strive for absolute freedom.  This is a wonderful desire, but I think that it could disconnect one from your what is realistically possible.  It is not possible to live one's life without making some measure of compromise towards the needs, desires and demands of others.  As a parent I have had to learn that my sleep patterns are less important than my children's sleep patterns.  As a husband I have had to learn that my mood and desire frequently need to give way to my wife's needs and mood.  As a citizen of a country I have had to learn that my will must sometimes take a back seat to the greater will of the people.

Realistic compromise is the name of game!  Now of course you don't want to compromise to such an extent that you never achieve what you want or need - I had a relative who died before he retired because he had planned to 'start living' when he had enough money to do so.  That is the opposite extreme.

Nigel Marsh (tip of the hat to my psychologist friend Phil Collier who pointed this talk out to me!), the author of the wonderful book 'Overworked underlaid' (no that is not a typo), presents this very informative TEDx Talk, in which he discusses the delicate balance between work and daily life.  He offers the following advice (well, at least this is what I gleaned from his talk as 'advice'):  

- Write out your ideal day.

- Then realise that it is unlikely that you will have that specific day too often.

- Then plan to 'live' the elements of that day over a realistic time span.

In other words plan a 'realistic elongation' of your ideal day!  By doing this you will have some plan to work towards that removes the pressure of having to have a perfect day, every day.  At the same time you should have measurable instances of blessing, freedom and unhindered choice.  Yet, you will also allow enough space to fit your life into the lives of others.  This concession is not only necessary, I believe that in the long term we shall find that we cannot simply live our lives for ourselves.  Some of the most rewarding experiences I've had in life are things that I would not necessarily have chosen for myself.  Yet, by 'giving' a little I have met wonderful people, learned new things and seen magnificent places.

What do you think?  How do you manage 'work life balance'?

How do you balance caring for your family and the expectations of work life?

I posted this comment and prayer request under the prayer request and discussion section of my blog:

Balancing your work life and your family life is always something of a challenge.  Megan and I have been blessed with two wonderful children.  Our son was born three months premature and has had some health problems since birth.  This afternoon he will go into hospital to receive treatment for pneumonia.  Please do spare a prayer for him!  I am reminded to pray for all parents who struggle to balance their work responsibilities and their family life.

Each Friday Megan and I fast and pray for parents and Children.  You can read more about this on my blog, simply search for 'fast' it should bring up a few posts on this matter.

How do you cope with the balance between caring for your family and managing the demands and expectations of your work life?

 We would sincerely appreciate your prayers! How do you balance caring for your family and the expectations of work life? I am fortunate enough to work for a person who is compassionate, allowing me some flexibility.  I know that there are many who do not have this luxury!

Long days, short years

I recently read a great book called 'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin. It is well worth reading.

In the book she has a line that has stuck with me - 'While the days are long the years are short'. This is so true! I think it is a modern proverb (in the sense that a proverb is a short sentence that is based on long experience).

I have been burning the candle on both ends for some months now. My days have been long (today I started at 4.30 and will end my last meeting after 10pm. Yesterday was pretty much the same). Part of the challenge is that there is so much to do. But it is also complicated by the fact that I work with people in so many countries and time zones... I frequently have very late, or very early, Skype calls and conference calls.

So, the days are long. Yet at the end of each week I cannot believe bow quickly it has passed. The months are flying by at a rate of knots!!!

So, I realise that I must make the most of every day. But I must do so wisely! So yesterday afternoon I took an hour from 4-5pm to go home and play trains with my son and help my daughter with her homework. It is important to make the time to be with my kids and wife because the days pass far too quickly!!

Psalm 90.12 has some great advice. The Psalmist asks God to teach him to number his days so that he can gain a heart of wisdom (to remember that every moment of life is precious helps us to make the most of every moment by choosing to do things that truly matter).

My kids and wife are important - so today I am mindful of the fact that while the days are long the years are short!

How do you keep the balance between work and personal life? I'd love to hear your feedback!

Well, time to put the iPhone away - I'm about to do a presentation on the network of Christian Forums at Frieda's on Bree for a great group of Christian businessmen.