Have you ever been lonely? I'm pretty sure that most of us have had to face loneliness at some time or another in life. As a child when a parent went away and you missed them, then you were lonely. Perhaps when a husband, wife, friend, brother or sister was not around? Maybe when you were traveling somewhere and didn’t know a soul!
There’s a little book called the All better book in which primary school children try to solve some of the world’s greatest problems. One of the problems that was posed to them (along with war and peace, poverty and global warming – go figure…) was this:
"With billions of people in the world, someone should be able to figure out a system where no one is lonely. What do you suggest?"
Here are some of their suggestions:
• "People should find lonely people and ask them their name and address. Then ask people who aren’t lonely their name and address. When you have an even amount of each, assign lonely and not lonely people together in the newspaper" Kalani, 8 (who obviously has a gift for Administration!)
• "Make food that talks to you when you eat it. For instance, it would say, 'How are you doing?’, and ‘What happened to you today?'." Max, 9 (who will come to discover that even though food doesn’t talk to you, when you get to a certain age food starts to talk back!)
• "We could get people a pet or a husband or a wife and take them places" Matt, 8 (this kind of makes one wonder about Matt's understanding of marriage).
But one of the most touching responses, one that could break your heart, was this one from Brian, 8:
• "Sing a song. Stomp your feet. Read a book. (Sometimes I think no one loves me, so I do one of these)."
How incredibly sad that a child of 8 should already feel unloved, alone and uncared for! It makes the question even more pertinent:
"With billions of people in the world, someone should be able to figure out a system where no one is lonely"! What do you think?
If loneliness is common in women, it is an epidemic among men! A recent America survey, quoted in John Ortberg’s book, suggests that 90% of American men lack a true friend. I would venture that South Africa is not far off. I was at a children's birthday party recently when I observed the conversation of the men who were there. It was silent, stunted, shallow. Edwad Hallowell's sociological research indicates that for modern people two of the most desired and significant experiences in finding happiness in life are achievement and truly connecting.
Connecting obviously has to do with our relational world. Our sense of belonging, falling in love, forming loving, trusting, nurturing and secure relationships, being cared for when we are sick, being affirmed when we are insecure.
Achieving obviously has to do with our accomplishments. It has to do with the things that we do, winning contests, driving nice cars, having a big title, pursuing a career, realizing a difficult goal. He notes that our society has become obsessed with achieving, we are devoted to success and enslaved by our need to accomplish. Not one of the guys I was with were willing to speak of their relationships with wives or children... In fact quite the opposite, some of them were rude and dismissive as they sang their own praises about conquests in work, sport and personal wealth.
My dad had a serious stroke two years ago. He was paralysed. It’s amazing how suddenly when something like this happens one comes to realise that the greatest achievements in life are those things that relate to significance, not just success, those things that enrich life, not just those that make us rich. As I pointed out last week, we all long to truly connect, because it is hard-wired into us!
Mother Theresa once commented that "Loneliness is the leprosy of modern society." Not only do we avoid loneliness, but we also isolate and avoid the lonely. Much like lepers we keep our distance in the fear that we may be infected and overcome. I sometimes wonder how God must feel, seeing so many lonely people, and so many believers (like you and me) just around the corner, living on the same street? How do you think God feels about your loneliness, and the lonely people around you? It brings us back to our question:
"With billions of people in the world, someone should be able to figure out a system where no one is lonely"! Well, just maybe some has....
Here's the MP3 - perhaps it will offer some inspiration. (5.7MB MP3 file)
This was recorded for Radio Pulpit for my bi-weekly radio show 'The Ministry and Me'
Saturday, February 14, 2009 at 1:34PM 
On another note, can you believe that 1 year ago (15 February 2008) I broke my leg in multiple places and ended up with pins, screws and plates in it (see this link for an x-ray of the metal bits)- this came as a result of a motorcycle accident. Well, I am thankful to say that here I am a year later; still not walking perfectly, but fitter than I've been in years and riding this kind of distance!! I am so thankful! God has been good to is in the Cape!
