Silence is golden... BUT, not when you are a blogger.

I have been in Durban for meetings, and then today had a day full of meetings in Johannesburg (all to do with the NEW Seth Mokotimi Methodist Seminary we are building in Pietermaritzburg).

Tomorrow I shall catch up on my office work (after a morning meeting in JHB), return the 10 zillion phone calls and emails that are waiting for me, and post a few things that I have been thinking about to this blog.

This morning I recorded three more episodes for my radio program 'The Ministry and me' - I made MP3 copies on my voice recorder. I just want to see what the quality is like and then I shall post them here for those who cannot get Radio pulpit on either their cellphones or the internet.

Thanks to everyone who has been checking in on the blog!

Please could I ask to offer thanks in your daily prayers for the gift of the life of my little miracle son Liam - he turns 1 year old on the 16th of November!

Celebrating a powerful life! Happy Birthday Pete!

There are some people who change one's life more than they would ever know...

Today I offer thanks to God, and celebrate, my friend Peter Grassow's life - some years ago on this very day (13 October) Peter Grassow was born into the manse of a Methodist ministerial family (Pete can tell you how many years ago it was).

Pete is a follower of Christ, the kind of follower who doesn't compromise on the Gospel (even when it has consequences!) He is just, humane, loving, gracious, fair, prophetic (yup, we've just been talking about that). Oh, and he rides a large BMW motorbike and has done 12 Comrades Marathons (which means he must also be just a little bit crazy!!!)

I have known Pete for over a decade now. He has been a mentor and a guide, offering wise counsel, the ear of a friend, but also challenge and rebuke where necessary. Pete is the friend who will phone me to tell me that I am not spending enough time with my wife and children. He's also the kind of friend who phones me just about every week without fail, simply to ask how my relationship with God is going! What's even better is that he is willing to listen, and not offer advice (unless I ask for it). He's the kind of person I am pleased to follow and learn from. He gave me my first real teaching post - teaching New Testament at the College he runs in Cape Town.

Pete serves as a Pastor of a Church in Cape Town. He is a gifted preacher, a great teacher, a published author (more than a few times over), and he's one of the best leaders I know. He has been jailed for his stance against the Apartheid regime... He has faced the struggle of being the only white minister to serve in a black congregation (during a time when it was both illegal, and just not done, in both South Africa, and the Methodist Church). But more importantly, he loves Christ, loves his wife Jen, and his 3 daughters. I learn a lot from him

Happy Birthday Pete! You're a gift! And no, I don't say that to all the boys!

If you want to wish Pete a Happy Birthday (even if you don't know him), please drop him a note on his blog www.rockinthegrass.blogspot.com.

Much love from Dion, Megan, Courtney and Liam

Technorati tags: Birthday, Thanksgiving, friends

A year ago today... The sadness of a bureaucrat... But, tomorrow is another day!

It was the 4th of October 2006. I was dressed in a jacket and tie. Megie was about five and a half months pregnant with Liam, it was just before a week long retreat with my friends Peter Woods, Peter Grassow (above) and Kevin Needham.... A year ago today I graduated with a Doctorate in Theology. You can read more about that week here (look for the past dated 6 October 2006).

So much has changed since then! Most magnificent of all of those changes was the birth of our little miracle, Liam. I can hardly believe that he is almost a year old!

Tonight I celebrate and give thanks for Liam as I end another day of fasting - I have done 48 of these so far, every Friday for children, parents, and those who long to be parents. I do it because God knows the intensity of my gratitude and the sincerity of my intercessory prayer.

But, I am also sad - maybe I'm just hungry and pensive, but I feel sad. I miss Peter Woods - he is preparing for his year long retreat and has long since stopped blogging. I feel like I have lost a good friend. I mourn the fact that next year there will be no Phase 1 center at Plumstead in Cape Town. I wasn't involved in the final move that saw all the students from that District being placed elsewhere, but I feel guilty. Somehow as each year passes my sense of responsibility and culpability grows within the Church. Responsibility, because like most of our Church's leaders I also wish to help to make the Church more faithful so that we can honour God by bringing healing and transformation to the world, but also culpable since I realise how inadequate I am to achieve that, but also because one is seldom untouched by the struggles and mistakes of our Church, my Chuch.

My friend from Malaysia, Sivin, posted the following insightful comment on his blog - it comes from an interview with Brian Mclaren. I wonder if I am being sucked into the bureaucracy, or maybe I am already a bureaucrat, or maybe there is hope that benevolent leadership can help to change the Church and the world, or maybe I am just hopefully naive?

Bureaucracy a gift? The conversation in this post seems to model divergent and convergent thinking …

“Whether we like it or not, hierarchy and its sibling command & control, are here to stay. That doesn’t mean that networked organisations and self-organisation are not valuable additions, but they are just that. Additions, not the norm.”

“I think the evidence is showing that hierarchy may be here to stay as a way of irrigating and organization with resources, but command and control have long given way to networked action based on relationships and intimacy. It’s how anything actually gets done, especially in large organizations. Don’t believe me? It’s the principle behind “work to rule” slow downs. Command and control aren’t synonymous with hierarchy - one can organize a resource allocation hierarchically but use distributed leadership to get the work done.”

When the 4th ends the 5th will come... I will go for a run tomorrow and try to figure out who I am, what I should do, and what I should not do...

On Sunday I preach at Alan Storey's Church, Calvary Methodist in Midrand! I always look forward to being there!

An update on Liam the Great!

In just over a month Liam will be 1 year old (well on the 16th of November he will be one year form birth! He will in fact only be 9 months old from his actual gestation date). Megan and I took Liam for a checkup recently. Of particular joy was our meeting with his occupational therapist. But just a few thoughts before I get to that news!

We took him to say 'hi' to the wonderful staff of Pretoria East hospital neonatal unit. It felt strange going back there... At this point Liam has spent almost one third of his life in that unit! Can you imagine having spent one third of your life in ICU!?

However, as this photo shows we have everything in the world to rejoice about! Our little miracle is just that, truly a miracle! He now weighs almost 10 times his birth weight (having grown from 1 kg to 10 kg's!) Sure, we only feed him creatine and USN supliments (that one's for you John! They are the BEST supliments in the world!), but it is paying off!

Well, the great news is that Liam is perfectly healthy. He had his first bout of tonsillitis while I was in Malaysia. However, this proved to us that his immune system is functioning as it should. In terms of his development his is on track for a premature baby - most of his milestones are being met somewhere between his birth date, and his original gestation date. There are some minor visible indicators of the trauma and damage he suffered because of the brain haemorrhage's. He has struggled a little with his left arm and leg. However, the OT assures us that there is nothing so serious that we cannot deal with it through exercise and stimulation.

Friends, we cannot thank God enough for the incredible miracle of his grace!

Strangely enough I my gratitude was enriched while I preparing my log book for my tax return... Liam was born on the 16th of November, on the 20th and 21st of November I was moderating exams as an external examiner for TEE College. It was on the 2oth of November that Megan phoned me with that dreaded call to say that Liam had a grade 4 bleed in the parietal lobe, and that I needed to get to the unit as quickly as I could - they did not think that he would survive the day... In my log book it simply says 'Turfontein to Pretoria - hospital visit'.

It was possibly one of the most painful hours of my life as I drove from Johannesburg to Pretoria to meet my distraught wife and baptise my 1kg, 1 week old son, before he died...

Well, here he is! Perfect in every possible way! A testimony to God's grace and creative power!

Megie and I still continue to fast and pray every Friday. We do it to give thanks to God for all that God has done, but also to remember that many others have not had the same experience of joy and blessing that we have. We don't understand why that is. But, we do pray. We pray in the hope that God's grace would reach and bless others who are going through what we went going through.

Never too small to remember

This week has been amazing in so many ways. I have met and interacted with great scholars. I have spent time in ancient churches and centres of learning. I have discovered new friends, and been reaquanted with old ones. I have learnt so much, and had a few chances to teach.

However, as I think back on this week the experience is run through with one overarching idea - the fact that everyone, and every story, matters.

Before leaving for South Africa I was asked to write a chapter for a book on HIV / AIDS. I have been doing some research and reading, talking with Christian AIDS workers, and spending time with persons who are HIV positive, and those who have felt the great loss of loosing a loved one to this dissease. The reality is that very few of those persons' stories will ever be told. That matters. However, at another level their stories make up the very fabric of who each one of us is. They are our world.

This week I have been moved to tears (in private - this is England after all!) whilst reading Pehlippe Denis little book 'Never too small to remember: Memory work and resilience in times of AIDS' (2005, Cluster Publications, Pietermaritzburg). The book tells of the marvelous work that is being done among AIDS orphans in Kwazulu Natal through the use of 'memory boxes'. The aim of the project is to build a greater resilience in children and child headed households where both parents have been lost to AIDS. Of course there is very little that could ever be done to remove the agony of such a loss, but there is a great deal that can be done to help such young people. Naturally pragmatic and practical solutions seek to educate, clothe, and feed the children. This is necessary. It challenges me to think if I could not give and do more to help make their lives a little easier. But such generosity does not deal with the deep hurt and stigma associated with their loss. Morover, if the children themselves are HIV positive they will need more than just food, clothing, and education, to make meaning of their lives, to do more than just survive, but to truly live.

I have spent quite a lot of time with my friend Clive Marsh this week. He and I have been talking about the importance of experience and memory as a source of healing, yet also an essential source of good theology.

The memory box, which is the 'memory tool' Philippe Denis uses, allows the children and their care givers to make use of narrative, story-telling, to recount the memories that they have of their parents (both the good and the bad). It allows them to articulate, analyse, understand, and move through these memories (note that I don't say move beyond - to move through means that one takes something of the memory with you into your future). In doing so the children are given a far greater resilience to cope with their past, make choices in their present life, and form a new future. They can learn to live with the virtues and grace of belonging to the wider community (which as you know is essential as an expression of ubuntu in African communities), but they can also learn how to solve the problems that their parents and caregivers faced.

Memory is a wonderful thing. Today I remember where I come from. The picture above was taken in 1989. I was in my final year in high school [yes, I had a porno 80's hairstyle - although the mullet I had on my wedding day was even worse!].

So much has happened in the 18 years since then, and so much had gone before. My parents were divorced when I was 2, we left Zimbabwe, the land of my birth, came to South Africa to start again and encountered many more severe challenges and hardship than most. I was raised in my early years by my mother who struggled - the struggle was within herself and often caused great hardship around her. She was married, and in relationships, many times. My early childhood is filled with memories of terror, physical and emotional violence, yet also with tenacity and a will to live - it was however, also the dawning of my faith. I remember praying ernestly for the first time when I was 9. My mother's husband at the time had come home in a drunken rage and had beaten her to the point of breaking her back. My brother of 11 had tried to defend her yet was unable and also faced the madman's wrath. I was afraid for my life, and for the life of my mother and brother, and so in desperation I grabbed a hammer and hit the man on his head. He fell to the ground bleeding.

I remember praying, a frightened 9 year old, fearful that everyone was dead - my mother, my brother, and my mother's husband. Somehow the knowledge that there was a person - not a power but a person - named Jesus who could see, hear, and answer my prayers gave me the hope that I needed to get beyond that night.

Of course, such scars remain with one. By the time the picture above was taken I had been off the rails a few times. I had used (and abused) most of the drugs that were popular in the 80's, sought refuge in popularity and rebelion, and given my poor father and step mother many sleepless nights and gray hairs! I had been arrested, asked to leave church groups, and caused a lot of unhapiness to many people. I also had two tatoos and many earings as a reminder of those times.... In some ways it was because I had not built up a spiritual resilience that I sought comfort and meaning in physical and psychosocial remedies.

Perhaps it was when I discovered Christ, not just as a saviour, but as a friend, that my life changed most. That was in 1987. It was the first time that I knew that I was loved unconditionaly, that there was no threat, no need to impress, no expectation, just love.

Of course a great deal has taken place since that photo was taken. I have been married to Megan for almost 14 years now. She completes me in ways I could never have imagined. I have my two miracle children, Courtney and Liam, both of whom have stretched my heart and filled me with a new kind of wild passion. This passion moves me inwardly, to find ways of loving them and caring for them by showing them the kind of grace I have experienced in Christ. Yet, it also moves me outwards - to seek to change our world so that what they grow into will not be a place of fear, hate, and danger - this too is the work of Christ in me.

My life is very different now - as I write this I am sitting in one of the oldest, and most prestigious, academic institutions in the world, Christ Church, Oxford University. Who would ever have thought? But I am different in otherways: I am taller, fatter, balder, and richer than I was when I was 9... I also have more debt... But, I am also happier, more grateful, and much more privelaged. Remembering who I am helps me to savor these moments and experiences. They cannot be taken for granted!

Even though my life is different, I guess I am still the same. I am still Dion, I remember my past and long for a better future. I still enjoy adventures and love to pray. My memory box makes me more resilient. God has never forsaken me - God heard my prayer when I was 9, God heard my prayer last year when Liam was born, God still hears my prayer today.

Liam's Baptism 10 June 2007

Sunday the 10th of June was an evening of wonderful celebration for the Forster and Seviour families! It was an opportunity for us to give thanks to God for the miracle of little Liam's life, and to commit ourselves to caring for him, and raising him, in a manner that is fitting of a Christian household.

Christopher Harrison, the senior minister of the Bryanston Methodist Church, where Megie, Courts, Liam and I are members, did the baptism. He was wonderful! After leading us through the liturgy of commitment he baptised Liam and said a beautiful prayer. I need to get the exact words from him since I would love to use it myself in years to come.

However, it went something like:

I touch your heart so that it may be filled to overflowing with the love of Christ.
I touch your eyes that they may see the beauty and glory of God's creation.
I touch your lips that they may come to speak of the majesty of your creator.
I touch your hands that they may loving do God's will.
I touch your feet that they may walk in the path of God's grace and mercy. Amen.

We did not take any photographs during the service. However, we did take a few photos at Gwen and Rhys' house (Megie's sister).

So, here they are. Isn't our boy looking great! I rejoice at God's goodness, mercy, and care for us as a family! I pray that out of the abundance of that grace we may be able to bless, support, and care for others who are in need of that same gracious love!

Liam and Mom giving each other a kiss!

And here's a picture of Courts holding her little brother. Courtney is such a wonderful blessing to us. She stood up front in the Church as we made our promises. It was not only an opportunity to baptise Liam, but also to remember the promises that we made when Courtney was baptised in 2000.

So, once again, thank you to everyone who prays for us as a family. Your prayer, support, and care is a great encouragement and blessing! We cherish and value the wonder of being part of a loving, caring, Christian community. It was for that reason that we requested that Liam should be baptised in the evening service, since this is the service at which I preach, and the service at which we feel most at home as a family.

Our darling girl and the miracle kid

Yesterday the miracle kid, AKA Liam the Great, went for his checkup with all of his doctors (trust me there are many of them!) and also went to be weighed (not as traumatic for men as for women, also at this stage of life it is a good thing to pick up weight!), and of course to spend a couple of thousand rand on injections (to our medical aid, thanks for nothing... Well, not quite nothing... R3000 out of R60 000 is something, I guess! That's why we pay them the big money! They're smarter than we are).

Here's a picture of little Liam doing during the day what he should be doing at night. It's called sleep, other people have told us about it. One day we will re-discover what it is like ;-)

Doesn't he look all grown up? He is so peaceful. Friends, you may never be able to understand what an incredible joy and blessing it is for Megie, Courtney, and I to see our little miracle boy like this. He is free from machines, he looks chubby, and with the exception of
a few little niggles with his left limbs he is perfect in every possible way. I don't know how anyone cannot believe that God is not active, engaged, compassionate and loving? By the way, for the those who are interested in a creative and novel approach to the the theology of providence, check out Rob Bell's DVD 011 called 'Rhythm', it's in the nooma series.

Here's a picture of Courtney and Liam together watching a bit of TV on the couch! Courts is such a gift to Liam, and of course an incredible gift to us. She has been so wonderful throughout the last six months. In her I have seen a compassion, maturity, and child-like faith that I wish I could rediscover! We give thanks for both of our children.

So, I am reminded that in the midst of all of the things that matter, there are some things that matter more. Worship is about discovering truth, declaring it as truth, and then making that truth become more and more real in one's daily life. Today I worship the God of all creation for the miracle of life, for the safety of living within God's faithfulness, and for the joy of knowing that I receive undeserved grace...

Thank you for your continuing prayers for us. We cherish the thought of knowing that there are people who remember us in the intimacy of God's presence. Just as an aside, quite a few of you have contacted me to say that you take up the discipline of fasting during of the week (quite a few of you join me on a Friday). I still engage in that simple act - it reminds me just how much I need God. It creates a realisation in me that in my world of privelage I am still the same as every other person who must eat to survive, and so my ministry must bring food to the hungry. It also reminds me that I am often more hungry for physical food than I am for the true bread of life, Jesus. For those who have not done so for a long time, why not consider giving up just one meal? Give that food to someone who needs it more than you do, and give the time to God, the one who sends the bread of life, like manna in the desert, that will take away your hunger for all eternity....

Anyway, here endeth today's sermon ;-)

Liam the GREAT has a bath!

I uploaded the Video below onto youtube this evening. It is a video of Liam the great having a bath! So, for the more sensitive, and prudish, not that this video contains nudity (you'll see a naked 5 month old guy! Oh the shame!!!) Ha ha.

Take a look at how fat his little tummy is getting, and you'll even get a glimpse of Liam's little smile!

(PS. since this is a youtube video it does not need to load completely to play... So if you are on narrowband internet, just set it started and come back in a few minutes, move the slider to the start of the movie and you should be able to watch it without any problems).

As mentioned in the previous post, little Liam now weighs just over 5 kilograms (that's 5 times his birth weight). And he is perfect in every possible way!

Have a great week!

Easter MIRACLES!!! This one's for you Janet!

Happy Easter everyone! I pray that it was a time of renewal and rediscovery for you.

I had the great honour of preaching an Easter Mission entitled 'The week that changed the world could change your life'. I preached the following messages from Palm Sunday to Wednesday (and I've thrown in my Easter Sunday message from Bryanston Methodist Church for good measure):

1. Sunday morning services Growing like Christ: God's unexpected tools for maturing people.
2. Sunday evening Christ the King: Is God ever satisfied?
3. Monday evening Easter's empty promises.
4. Tuesday evening Judas Christ's most honest and successful disciple! Coping with failure and living without regret.
5. Wednesday Evening Prayer under pressure: There's a lesson in the tone of Christ's voice.
6. Easter Sunday The hope of Victory: More certain than death and taxes!

We had an incredible response to the mission! It was such a joy to be with Les Green and his wonderful people. I am always overwhelmed by the generosity and grace of God's people. I was so lovingly received and richly affirmed by them.

OK, now onto our little Miracle! Janet gently reminded me just recently in a comment on this blog that I haven't given an update on little Liam in a while. Well, he is doing so well!!!!! He now weights just under 5kg's and is 5 months old. He has had 3 of his synergis injections (so one leg is worth R20 000 and the other is worth R10 000!) So, 3 more to go! He has responded well to the injections and has been infection free. Thank you so much to all those who have prayed for us, offered us support, and donated towards the cost of these life saving injections. We appreciate it all so much. You may never know how much! Hey Wes!!! What can I say? You're a gift and a miracle of God's grace to us!

Sometimes we forget just how far we have come over the last 5 months. Take a look at this photo that was taken just after his birth.

Look how little and frail he was!

The picture on the right was taken just after his birth. He was so tiny! Now, however, he looks like a REAL baby!!! He is quite heavy to hold and such a strong and robust little guy.

What is even more wonderful is that he has started to SMILE!! All parents will remember those first smiles from their kids. Liam has been a little late in getting to his smiles, but when he finally got there it was the most incredible and wonderful sight in the world! It melts my heart (and my brain! Dr Dad goes 'goo goo, gaa gaa, choo' all day long, just in the hope of getting him to smile).

How COOL is this!? Look at that smile. Isn't Liam looking great? Not only does he smile like this, he has also started to 'churtle' a bit. It sounds fantastic and it just blesses us so much to get this type of response out of him.

Megie, Courtney, and Liam spent the Easter Weekend with Megie's folks, Brian and Brenda, who have moved to Hilcrest in Kwazulu Natal (I on the other hand had a bit of work to do, but was also ill, so it was just as well that I couldn't go with them). This photo was taken at their new place (Megie went down with her mom to help her to unpack and visit with them in their new home). So, this was Liam's first trip to the coast. He LOVED the sea. Megie put his feet in the water and he couldn't get enough! A water baby!

Courtney also loved it at the sea! She is constantly nagging Megie and I to 'move back' to our home in Cape Town! Wouldn't that be great!? Here's a picture Courts sitting on the beach (she is growing up FAR too quickly!!! Just look at this pose! Even though I am a 'Gun Free' campaigner I need to start saving for a shotgun!)

I am so blessed with these wonderful people that God allows me the joy of sharing my life with. Megie is a wonder. I am more in love with her day after day! Please pray for her as she prepares to go back to work full time at the end of this month (she has been back in the office a few times a week already for the past few weeks, but I know it is going to be heart wrenching when the time comes for her to go back full time. So please do pray for her!) Courts goes back to school on Tuesday after her Easter break. So it will be morning rides on the Vespa! Yipee. Although it is starting to get a bit colder now, so we will have to wrap up to stay warm.

Some personal news from me is that I am starting my second Doctorate in the coming weeks. I have been toying with the idea for a few months now, spoken to a few friends, colleagues and advisors, and have decided to get going rather than waste anymore time thinking about it. Yup, you read correctly, I am starting a second Doctorate. I will share some of the reasons and motivation behind this as it unfolds. For now I simply need to say, I cannot cope without studying! I need to read, I need to be challenged to think beyond what is commonplace, and I need a bit of extra pressure to write! Plus I still don't sleep all that well and I need something more worthwhile and stimulating to do with late nights and early mornings! I also love reading the Bible and have been wanting to take my New Testament studies further at a more critical level. So, this one's going to be in New Testament (at this stage anyway).

Well, there you go. That's the news Forsterdom!

Don't forget the poor! I thank God that I can feel, although it is seldom easy...

I have a life of great blessing and privilege. Many of you who know me well know how often I struggle with a feelings of unworthiness. Why on earth should my life be so great, when there are others in the world who are so much more holy, devout, committed, pure, intelligent, caring (and the list goes on), who should suffer and struggle? Why should I have so much, when others have so little? How can I possibly sleep at night, and work through the day, knowing that nearby there are children who starve, wives who are beaten, men who have lost their self respect because they have been unable to work for months, whole communities dying of HIV... how can I do it?

I feel. In fact to be honest, I feel it deeply, often to the point of great sadness.

However, I thank God that I can experience life, that I can feel, and that I can think. In particular I am grateful that God employs all of my faculties in engaging with me, as unworthy as I am!

Let the truth be known, God truly does speak to me (not so much in an audible voice... Although that does happen from time to time when I forget to take my meds ;-)!

God speaks to me by engaging my intellect; I have been re-reading Dawkin's attack on faith The God delusion. Through it God has spoken to me and is reminding me that faith is not incongruent with reason, in fact it belief is the most reasonable response in a suffering world! Someone once asked Viktor Frankl, the Jewish psychologist and writer, how he could still believe in a loving God after witnessing and surviving the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps. He is believed to have answered "how could one possible go through such horror without believing in God?" If I did not believe, I simply could not cope. For I would either have to stop feeling, or I would be driven to complete despair. My belief gives me hope.

God speaks to me through my emotions, I have had a number of very emotive encounters with God of late (I guess that some of it has to do with the fact that I am feeling somewhat run down and tired because of the demands and business of these past few months, such feelings always leave me quite emotional. Coupled with this is the emotional roller coaster of Liam's growth and recovery since November last year). I feel, and I thank God for it! I can think of nothing worse than being as hard as a rock, impassible, and without the capacity for either great joy or great pain. It is not possible to experience the one, without the possibility of also experiencing the other.

And, God speaks to me through my experience of reality (particularly as it is mediated through the scriptures, and through significant relationships). I would like to dwell on this point a little if I may.

This weekend I experienced, once again, the dichotomy of privilege and poverty. The privilge is that I had the honour to preside at the wedding of very special family friends in Cape Town. Imagine if you can, the incredible honour of being able to facilitate a moment of such loving intensity that it will carry two persons forward in commitment, hope, faith, and deepening love for the rest of their lives. I cannot imagine any servant of the gospel who is worthy of such a great honour. And so, as I spoke with Sean and Kim, and addressed the gathered family and friends, I was overwhelmed with gratitude at being asked to play some small part in the sacredness of this moment. That they should find me worthy to do it, that God should find me worthy to call me such ministry, blows my mind! Of course, together with this privilege came the practical expressions of their regard for me, a situation that I still struggle to understand. I was flown to Cape Town, given a car, accommodated in a magnificent hotel, lavished with gifts.

As part of the trip I also had the joyous privilege of visiting some of my closest friends, Gus, Heather, Andre (AKA Norm) and Michelle. They are so kind to me, so affirming, so loving... How could I ever deserve such love? It was great to experience it though.

Last night I once again had the privilege of standing in front of a full Church, over 300 people I would guess, eager to hear the Gospel and worship God. It is a Church filled with some of the most brilliant hearts and minds of our nation! Among them are doctors, lawyers, economists, parents, children, scholars, teachers, servants and of course friends. What could I have done to deserve such an honour? That they would trust me to listen for God's voice and share my insights with them still blows my mind. They are far more intelligent, and many far more committed and creative in their expressions of Christ's love! However, I gratefully accept the privilege of ministering to them.

Last week Megan and I received a third donation towards Liam's medical expenses. We are so undeserving of the grace showered upon us by people who don't even know us! Our friend Wessel Bentley's Church has given us a total of R32 5oo towards the R100 000 or so that we have had to find to cover unpaid medical bills (please also see my blog entry below about the incredible gift from an unknown saint)! How could we ever be worthy of such generosity? Yet, we are blessed and thankful to receive it. Perhaps more thankful than they will ever know. I am so undeserving of such generosity and grace.

On Friday I heard from a colleague, who has become a dear friend, the Revd Zdzislaw Hendzel, that his son Christopher who was also born at 27 weeks in February this year had passed away after an almost 2 month struggle in the neonatal ICU. I was crushed. I don't know how to respond. Why do I have the privilege of the life of my son, yet he does not have the privilege of his? It is an undeserved and not understood. All I could do was weep and pray. It came on the day of my fast. I will continue to make that sacrifice of thanksgiving. I have no other response.

And so God speaks to me... And I hear.

What I hear is that even though I am so privileged, I am totally impoverished. There is not a single achievement, accolade, honour or blessing in my life that belongs to me. Everything is a gracious gift from God. And, my desire to find a way to become worthy of these honours is in itself a selfish desire, a desire to remove the grace and somehow pretend that I have earned these great gifts, that perhaps I could show that I deserve them. But, I do not. They are simply gifts, gracious, undeserved, unmerited gifts. I have no moral, spiritual, or intellectual prosperity. I simply live in humble dependence on the God of all grace.

My friend Peter Grassow sent me the following quotes this morning:

Give liberally and be ungrudging when you do so, for on this account the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake. - Deuteronomy 15:10-10

and

It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity. -Frederic D. Huntington

Poverty and privilege. These are the two contrasting realities of my life.

There is in my congregation at Bryanston a young man who is so remarkable, so gifted, so worthy of every privilege that life could shower on brilliance, yet he has chosen to give his best (and he is the best) to serve God. His service is not just empty words. This young man has devoted his brilliant mind, his youthful energy, and his compassionate heart, to alleviate poverty, poverty of the worst kind. I am inspired by him, it is a privilege to know him, to know people like Sean, Kim, Gus, Heather, Andre, Michelle, Zdzislaw, Wessel, Peter, it is a privilege to know Jason (AKA Jay). They remind me that my life is intended to spent, and spent generously. I can find no better response to my privilege and poverty than to have my life spent in the service of others, others who are far greater than me. If I can change just one life like this, my life will have been well spent!

Please could you take some time to read Jason's reflection and challenge (in MS Word format below)?

1Q 2007.doc

Let's allow our privilege and our poverty to speak to us, and as Jason challenges us at the end of his reflection, let us "Remember the poor". I seem to remember Jesus saying,

'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these..., you did for me.' (Matthew 25:40 NIV)

The cycle of another year! John Wesley College Graduation 2007, with gratitude and thanks.

One of the great comforts of life is that it moves in cycles. My year is metered and regulated by the various functions and activities that occupy my energy, creativity, and time. Most of these relate to my work as the Dean of John Wesley College, the Seminary of the Methodist Church of Southern Africa.

Today was another moment to reflect, give thanks, and remember, the years that have passed since I have been in this responsible post. Please check below for a copy of the little article that I wrote for the EMMU website about this year's graduation (that has the facts, these are the feelings).

Last night I drove my newly painted (Old) Vespa up the hill to our College Chapel to check that everything was in order for the Graduation today. I am in that glorious stone Chapel daily (each morning from 7.30 to 8.30 we have a worship service with our students - it is predominantly worship in the African idiom with drums, a bell, a beat, and almost entirely in the vernacular). However, last night as I entered that same Chapel I was overcome by an entirely different emotion.... I can only describe it as a feeling extreme humility, unworthiness, and gratitude. I entered the Chapel just as the sun was setting, it is truly a magnificent space in just the right light (built in 1927 with large stones and a fantastic stained glass window and polished red floor). I walked in and saw how our students, my colleagues, had meticulously prepared every aspect of the Chapel for the graduation service. It was pristine, everything in its place, the air still filled with the smell of wood polish! And then the feeling I spoke of earlier came upon me, I knelt at the rail, where I kneel every Tuesday morning for the weekly Eucharistic service, and I gave thanks to God! How thankful I am that I have survived another year to be at the Graduation again. How thankful I am for all the growth and incredible experiences I have had in the last 4 years. How thankful I am to the Methodist Church of Southern Africa for entrusting me with this awesome responsibility of training her ministers (a task for which I am ill equipped, and certainly not worthy). How thankful I am for my loving wife, my darling daughter, and my healthy son. How thankful I am for the vain things, like my education, and the silly things, like my Vespa!

How thankful I am indeed! How undeserving, yet grateful that God should shower me with such grace and blessing. I don't understand the privilege I have been given. I often struggle with the responsibility and pressure (those who read Greek will understand when I speak of it as thlipsis more than just pressure), but that too is a gift of God's grace; keeping me reliant on God and the people among whom I have been placed. I am thankful!

I prayed for a while until it was completely dark, and then I climbed onto my Vespa (pushed it down the road because it still doesn't start! I'm thankful for the exercise that gives me!) and enjoyed the evening air as I rode home on a beautiful summer evening in Africa to be with my family. Last night I rested well. Today I celebrated. I am at peace today, and once again I am thankful.

Here is the article about the Graduation from the EMMU website (these are the facts..... Well, sort of):

The Campus of John Wesley College, the seminary of the Methodist Church of Southern Africa, has been abuzz with activity for the last number of days. The reason for this heightened activity was all of the preparations that needed to be made for the College's annual Graduation ceremony that was held this morning (Saturday 10 March, 2007).

(Click on a photograph to enlarge it) The photograph above shows a few of the Bible Women who were graduating with Certificates in Theology, having completed their Certificate studies over a period of two years. Below is a picture of some of the Evangelists who had completed the same course.

In total 22 Bible Women and Evangelists received their qualifications from the Reverend Jacob Freemantle, the Warden of the Order of Bible Women and Evangelists in the Methodist Church of Southern Africa. Together with these Graduates, a number of awards were given to student ministers for outstanding achievement in their studies in 2006. These included:

• Rev Chris Mokone - Best results at John Wesley College in 2006
• Rev Jacob Mokhutso - Best first year student at John Wesley College in 2006
• Rev Jenny Sprong - Best Progress towards Ordination
• Rev Michael Lambatjeen - Best student for the ministry outside the borders of South Africa
• Rev Phatisiwe Mthi - best progress from a student at John Wesley College in 2006
• Rev Ryan Killian - Best minister in Phase 1 training in 2006
• Rev Ndikhokele Mtshiselwa - Best honours (post graduate) student at John Wesley College in 2006

A number of senior dignitaries from the Methodist Church of Southern Africa were in attendance.

From Left to Right
Row 1: Rev Professor Neville Richardson (Director of EMMU and Principal of John Wesley College), Rev Vido Nyobole (Connexional Secretary of the MCSA), Rev Dr Gavin Taylor (Bishop of the Limpopo District of the MCSA)
Row 2: Rev Luvuyo Sifo (Chairman of the John Wesley College Student Council in 2007), Rev Sifiso Khuzwayo (Lecturer in Christian Proclamation and Homiletics at John Wesley College), Dr Joan Jackson (Lecturer in Church History at John Wesley College), Rev Dr Dion Forster (Dean John Wesley College).
Row 3: (center) Rev Jacob Freemantle (Warden of the Order of Bible Women and Evangelists), Rev Ruth Jonas (coordinator of training for Lay ministries in the MCSA), Rev M Molale (District Supervisor of Studies for the Central District of the MCSA).
Row 4: Rev Madika Sibeko (coordinator of training for Ordained ministries in the MCSA), Mrs Liz McDougal (English lecturer at John Wesley College), Mrs Audrey Zinde (Zulu lecturer at John Wesley College). Not pictured here, who were also in attendance at the celebration, are Bishop Paul Verryn (Bishop of the Central District), and Rev Sox Leleki (African Church History lecturer at John Wesley College).

The students of John Wesley College need to be thanked and acknowledged for their hard work and superb preparation for this celebration! Thanks also goes to Professor Richardson for his inspiring address on the need for sacrificial and dedicated Christian witnesses (from the Greek word martures - out of which developed the concept of the Christian martyr). It was truly challenging! An MP3 audio copy of the address is available upon request from Dr Dion Forster.

It was a truly wonderful day of celebration and thanksgiving for years of commitment and work by the students.

To view the full set of 50 photographs from the Graduation ceremony please go to the EMMU flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7347784@N08/sets/72157594580272085/

(Dion Forster, John Wesley College, 10 March 2007)

The smell of rain... This is a heartwarming testimony of God's love and grace!

Every now and then someone sends something by email that touches me to the very depth of my being. This morning I received the word document below from my friend Kerry.

If you get a chance to download and read it you will certainly be blessed! It is called "the smell of rain". I couldn't stop crying as I read through it. Yup, cowboys (and Vespa riders) do cry!

The smell of rain.doc (about 200K)

Much love and blessing to all as you start this new week!