Viral Video of the moment: A hilarious parody of those lame informercials - buy Gabe and Max's 'internet'

Gabe and Max are REAL geniuses! They have changed my life!! They taught me all about the intrawebs on a CD-ROM near you... They upgraded my computer to MS DOS 5 and set my world on fire! Just today I received a whole email in the post, it was printed on good quality paper and everything! All of your internets are pwned by my l33t sErva$!

Ha ha! Watch this hilarious video by Gabe and Max! It is a parody of those lame 'Change your life now, start a business from home, and impress all the ladies [or gents, as the case may be] in 423 steps'

technorati tags: viral video, Max and Gabe, Intraweb

The funniest video of George W Bush!

This has to be one of the funniest comedy clips about George W Bush!

Sorry GW! If it makes you feel any better, I know that there are people who poke fun at me!

Technorati tags: Bush, funny, video, George Bush

Sad... What do Christians do about Lucky Dube's death?

Please notice I'm not asking how we feel about the sad murder of Lucky Dube... I know how I feel about it.

I am asking what do we do about it?

Megan and I had only been living in Pretoria for about 3 months when we were involved in an attempted hijacking - thankfully we got away with our lives, but it was a traumatic experience for Megan, Courtney (who was asleep on the back seat of the car) and I. We still don't stop at that set of traffic lights at night. Sadly, about a year later, Megan was a victim of a 'smash and grab' incident at the same busy intersection. In broad daylight a man simply walked up to her car window smashed the glass and grabbed her handbag and ran away... So, now that intersection, and many others, have signs that say "hijacking hotspot" and "be aware for your own safety".

We live across the road from 'The Scorpions' headquarters in Pretoria (for those from outside of South Africa, the Scorpions are South Africa's version of the FBI, their real name is the NPA (National Prosecution Authority), but they are called the Scorpions). They have surveillance cameras that monitor their perimeter fence, and also cover the entrance to our complex's gate. Yet, one of our neighbours was held up at gunpoint and robbed of all his money (after being followed home from the Airport). We have also had numerous break-ins with radios and other valuables being stolen form the cars... When the NPA were asked to help to supply surveillance evidence to make the arrests the police were told that they would have to get a judge to issue a injunction to release the surveillance tapes!

You know we are so accustomed to crime that our language has even begun to reflect it. On the news the hijacking was described as a 'hijacking gone wrong'... Sound strange? Well maybe not at first, because we hear about 'robberies gone wrong' where people are shot... BUT, this language begs the question, then WHAT IS A SUCCESSFUL HIJACKING!? Crazy! There is NO such thing as a successful hijacking, or robbery, or crime.

I am sad and shocked that a nation as beautiful as ours should struggle with such violence and crime... Of course I understand why it takes place - the gap between those who have, and those who have not, is still huge! The damage done by Apartheid will be felt for many years to come...

What made me so sad about Lucky Dube's death today is that he was shot in front of his teenage son and daughter while three men tried to hijack his car... Then the police officials in the Johannesburg area report that they will not just put 'any' policemen on this case, rather, they have appointed a 'crack team' to solve this crime. Isn't it sad that you have to be famous to get good service from the police? What do people who are not famous do?

There was a very cynical article in the Business Times Careers section this past Sunday (October 14, 2007, p.1), it was by David Bullard in his column "Out to Lunch" - the title of the article is Are those killed by crime seen by Mbeki as dispensable? In the article he questions whether the high crime figures, and the lack of resolve to do anything about crime, is in fact some kind of ploy. I think it is a little wacky, and in fact smacks of conspiracy - however, Bullard himself was shot, and almost killed, in a violent incident just a short while ago.

So, the question is what do we do? What do Christians do?

My friend Gus has a wonderful (and much less negative and not just a 'rant' like mine). You will find Gus' post here, it is entitled "The value of life".

Technorati tags: Lucky Dube, crime, South Africa, hijack, murder

Sad... What do we do about Lucky Dube's death?

Please notice I'm not asking how we feel about the sad murder of Lucky Dube... I know how I feel about it.

I am asking what do we do about it?

Megan and I had only been living in Pretoria for about 3 months when we were involved in an attempted hijacking - thankfully we got away with our lives, but it was a traumatic experience for Megan, Courtney and I. We still don't stop at that set of traffic lights at night. Sadly, about a year later, Megan was a victim of a 'smash and grab' incident at the same busy intersection. In broad daylight a man simply walked up to her car window smashed the glass and grabbed her handbag and ran away..

We live across the road from 'The Scorpions' headquarters in Pretoria (for those from outside of South Africa, the Scorpions are South Africa's version of the FBI, their real name is the NPA (National Prosecution Authority), but they are called the Scorpions). They have surveillance cameras that monitor their perimeter fence, and also cover the entrance to our complex's gate. Yet, one of our neighbours was held up at gunpoint and robbed of all his money (after being followed home from the Airport). We have also had numerous break-ins with radios and other valuables being stolen form the cars... When the NPA were asked to help to supply surveillance evidence to make the arrests the police were told that they would have to get a judge to issue a injunction to release the surveillance tapes!

I am sad and shocked that a nation as beautiful as ours should struggle with such violence and crime... Of course I understand why it takes place - the gap between those who have, and those who have not, is still huge! The damage done by Apartheid will be felt for many years to come...

What made me so sad about Lucky Dube's death today is that he was shot in front of his teenage son and daughter while three men tried to hijack his car... Then the police officials in the Johannesburg area report that they will not just put 'any' policemen on this case, rather, they have appointed a 'crack team' to solve this crime. Isn't it sad that you have to be famous to get good service from the police? What do people who are not famous do?

There was a very cynical article in the Business Times Careers section this past Sunday (October 14, 2007, p.1), it was by David Bullard in his column "Out to Lunch" - the title of the article is Are those killed by crime seen by Mbeki as dispensable? In the article he questions whether the high crime figures, and the lack of resolve to do anything about crime, is in fact some kind of ploy. I think it is a little wacky, and in fact smacks of conspiracy - however, Bullard himself was shot, and almost killed, in a violent incident just a short while ago.

So, the question is what do we do? What do Christians do?

My friend Gus has a wonderful (and much less negative and not just a 'rant' like mine). You will find Gus' post here, it is entitled "The value of life".

Do you need a better way to manage your time? Here's one way to cut those meetings short!

If, like me, you have 10 things on the go at any one time, then you may feel that there are times when you would love to be able to manage your time more effectively! Well, here's a sure fire way to keep those LONG meetings as SHORT as possible! Simply print a few of these tokens and have your assistant, secretary (or significant others) hand it to people as they arrive!

Seriously though, if you're in search of good productivity and lifestyle management advice, then I would suggest you take a look at one of my favourite websites www.43folders.com. I have been visiting this site for years and found some incredibly helpful information there...

Here are a few of my favourites (they are also in the top 9 at 43folders):

1. First steps to 'getting things done'. This is GREAT for the procrastinators among you!

2. How to improve the quality and delivery of your presentations, so that you're not just USING powerpoint, but rather getting your POINT across with POWER!

3. How to write sensible e-mail messages (that people will actually read and respond to! Not just scan and turf).

4. And, for those who know me (I always have two or three lists going, sometimes I have lists that tell me what lists to consult in what order....). Here's how to build smarter to do lists.

Technorati tags: 43folders, time management, meetings, getting things done, procrastination

Top 10 degrees you DON'T want your child to study towards!

This list of degrees was drawn up by the folks at ScholarPoint ... There are the 10 degrees that you WOULD NOT want your child to do!

1. Master Ranching - Showing up to college wearing spurs and riding a horse probably isn't the best idea, unless you go to Texas A&M-Kingsville's Institute for Ranch Management. The university is offering the first ever master degree program for ranchers. What was once a profession passed on from generation to generation is now getting sophisticated enough that it may actually require an MBA. Go figure. Graduates can expect salaries in the $50,000-$75,000 range.

2. Astrobiology - ET phone home. The University of Glamorgan in the UK offers a degree in Astrobiology, which is the search for life beyond earth. So if hunting for alien life is your thing consider a career in Astrobiology.

3. Retail Floristry - I bet you never thought working at your local flower shop required a college degree. Well, it probably doesn't, but that doesn’t mean you can't major in Retail Floristry anyway. Career opportunities are a step above working the cash register and include wholesaling, special event designing, and display gardening. This program is offered through Mississippi State University and graduates can expect a 90% job placement rate.

4. Professional Nanny - Sullivan University in Louisville Kentucky offers a professional nanny program, which prepares graduates to work in private residences, day care centers, children's hospitals, and country clubs. This is a perfect career for those girls who grew up babysitting all the neighborhood kids that now want to make more than $2 per hour.

5. Sports Ministry - Graduates from this program are prepared for positions in non-profit organizations seeking to use sports as an avenue for teaching religion. This program is offered through Campbellsville University in Campbellsville Kentucky.

6. Adventure Recreation - Do you like snowboarding, scuba diving, ice climbing, or whitewater rafting? If you answered yes, perhaps you should consider doing what you love for a job and start by making it your college major. Green Mountain College in Vermont is offering major and minor programs in Adventure Recreation, which aims to place graduates in a variety of outdoor recreation careers such as those listed above.

7. Golf & Sports Turf Management - Just because you were never good at football doesn't mean you can't make it your job. Only you'll be repairing the grass they tear apart every week. The course curriculum offered by Mississippi Sate University will prepare you for a career as a golf superintendent or a sports turf manager at city, school, and professional sports arenas. Graduates in this field also enjoy a 90% job placement rate.

8. Comedy: Writing and Performance - Here's a degree program that actually requires "a great sense of humor" as an admission requirement. Humber College in Canada offers this program to help naturally talented students hone their craft and learn the commercial side of the business. Students learn stand-up, improv, scriptwriting, and sketch comedy.

9. Organic Agriculture - Organic foods make up more than 2.5% of all food and drink sales nationwide and have been increasing by 20% per year since 1990. This makes organic farming an attractive career opportunity. This is the first organic agriculture major in the nation and is offered through Washington State University.

10. Fishing Sciences and Management - This masters program is offered by Colorado State University and focuses on fish populations for recreational and commercial fishing purposes to ensure adequate conservation and utilization. If nothing else the courses on fish psychology should at the very least help you catch more fish.

So, anybody heard of, OR GOT, any other strange degrees! I have another hilarious one! Did you know that I actually have TWO PhD's!? Yup, it's true! I have that silly old PhD in Theology and science that took be 4 years to complete at a REAL University... But then I have THIS ONE! No studying needed! Just a copy of Photoshop!!!

You too could have THIS AMAZING [fake] PhD! In fact I know that Gus(working towards a REAL PhD, one step at a time...), Wessel (Wes, also happens to have a REAL PhD, like me...), and Pete (some people don't NEED a PhD... They're just naturally clever!) have the same degree! Why? Well, because I photoshoped their names into it and sent it to them! Impressive isn't it?

Ha ha! Dr [Jedi] Forster.

Technorati tags: fake, degree, PhD, MIT, useless

Why study theology? Does it enrich your ministry and your devotion to God - Podcast Dr Jennifer Slater

This is the third in a series of pre-recorded podcasts that I have prepared in the last few days. This podcast is in the form of a talk delivered by Dr Jennifer Slater, the Dean of the National Seminary of the Catholic Church, here in South Africa. Her topic was Theology, ministry, and the devout life.

Jenny is a Dominican sister, she has a Doctorate in Theology and is a wonderful friend of mine. The occassion of the recording was the Valedictory service for the students leaving John Wesley College in October 2007. This photo was taken of Jenny in the John Wesley College Chapel.

You can download the podcast here (5.1MB)

Technorati tags: Podcast, Christian ,Theology ,Catholic ,Dominican

Worship at work - a lovely liturgy

My last post indicated that I was about to enter the Chapel service to worship with our students. Rev Kedibone Mofokeng led the service. I've retyped her liturgy below (with some slight amendment, and excluding the Xhosa and Tswana prayers and hymns). The responsive sections are printed in italic script.

Opening prayer:
Let us pray:
Let us sing a new song to our Lord, a song praising and thanking God for this day.
A song of joy and happiness

Celebrating endurance and peace!
A song of love and victory, A song of faith and power.

O let our voices hover with the wind! Clap hands with the warmth of the sun and shout with the noise of the birds!
For our blinded eyes are opened, and our deafened ears unstopped; our crippled feet are leaping, and our muted tongues have found their real song.

Loving God, you have delivered us through another night. You have brought us, like your Son Jesus, from that world created and ruled by our wishes and hopes, and ushered us into the world that you, alone, create and rule.
For the grace that has searched for us, and found us, we praise You gentle Creator

Silent reflection:

You found what we were doing, and you intervened. 'Come and do it the right way, let us do it together, come and do it with me' you said.
We thank you Lord, for intervening in our lives.

In the beginning
Before time, before people
Before the world began
God was.

Here and now
Among us and beside us
Joining the people of the earth from different tribes, and tongues, and nations
For the purpose of your Kingdom
God is.

In the future,
when we have gone our separate ways
and we continue to fulfill our calling.
God will be.

Not denying the world, but delighting in it,
Not condemning the world, but redeeming it,
Through Jesus Christ,
By the power of the Holy Spirit,
God was, God is, God will be.

Closing prayer:
Speak your Word, O Lord, as you spoke your Word in the beginning, and in Nazareth, and on Pentecost. As we do our work today we shall be your faithful servants and witnesses, using our work as worship. Amen.

Technorati tags: Litrugy, Prayer, Work, Creation

Days like these. It makes me thankful

I live in Pretoria (although most of my life was spent in Johannesburg, highschool, varsity etc.) I am told that Pretoria has one of the most temperate climates in the world. In other words, the weather here is great most of the time.

Today is no different, we had one heck of a storm last night (if you listen to the start of the podcast I uploaded yesterday you'll hear the thunder)! However, the day after a highveld storm is always lovely, everything is clean, it's green and the birds are in good voice.

There's another feature of spring that makes Pretoria a great place to live - Jakaranda blossoms. Jakaranda trees are not native to this region, but like so many of the transplants from elsewhere in the world to South Africa, they add great beauty. Jakaranda blossoms, which are a lovley hue of purple, with a very sweet smell, line the streets of Pretoria's older suburbs. They signal the start of spring, with its new life and opportunity (they also signal exams!)

I'm just about to go into our daily chapel service with my students at the College, this is such a joy, we will worship in an African idiom (as we do every day), with a drum, a bell, singing Xhosa, Sotho and Tswana songs. God is good, it is good to be African (in spite of power cuts)!

Have a wonderful and blessed day. Don't forget to notice the power and beauty of God along the way!

Which team will God support in the Rugby World Cup Final? A theologian gives a difinitive theological answer (with diagrams!)

So, many people have been contacting me to find get my 'expert (as if) theological opinion' about Saturday's World Cup Rugby final between South Africa and England. Most wanted to find out if I know which team God will be supporting in the World Cup Rugby final between South Africa and England tomorrow?

Well, I did a bit of research, naturally I prayed and asked God, then I read the Bible, I went back and read the Patristics, St Augustine, St Thomas' suma, Calvin's institutes, Luther's commentaries, Wesley's Journals - heck I even read a bit of Karl Barth, some Stanley Hauerwas, Karl Rahner, and a bit of Brian Mclaren to find the answer.... I even called a special meeting of the Methodist Church of Southern Africa's Doctrine Committee (DEWCOM).... Then I consulted two of the best Theologians I know, Wes, and Pete (p.s. Pete managed to snap a picture of how the Rugby players greet one another! It's amazing! Go take a look!)

Here's what I found.....

It seems that there may be some English Christians 'running interference' with our Prayers for the Boks to win!!!! PRAY HARDER!!!! ha ha!!!

Well, all I can say is: MY BLOOD RUNS GREEN!!!!! GO BOKKE!!!!

Oh, and what team will God be supporting...???! Come on, if you lived in Cape Town (as God does) you would only support ONE TEAM! We all know God is a Stormers supporter in the leagues, and a Springbok supporter internationally! Even God is wearing Green today!!!! ;-)

Technorati tags: Rugby, World Cup, Final, Prayer, Springboks

Blogging by candle light - where first world and third world colide

It's just past 9pm on a Thursday evening, and here in our little suburb in Pretoria the power is out for the third time this week!

I honestly don't know what to say or think anymore... What makes it quite a challenge for us is that we have a baby who needs to have bottles steralised, and water boiled. I guess this what it feels like to live in a rural area, and I suppose that this is how the majority of people in the world have to survive...

Except of course for one thing! I am BLOGGING by candle light!

I have a Nokia E90 smart phone (truly one of the best phone's I've ever had. It has GPS (for when the High Occupancy Lane on the N1 slows traffic between Pretoria and Johannesburg to a pace that takes 3 hours to do 40 kms, at least I can search for an alternative route! It has a camera, a great keyboard, 3G HSDPA connectivity, a superb web browser and office suite... It even syncs with my Mac's calendar via bluetooth (oh, and it has wifi). In fact, I think it can even make phone calls and send text messages!! ha ha!

So, it is great to have first world technology in the third world - thanks MTN! No thanks to ESKOM though...

Now if only my phone could boil a kettle...

Spirituality Podcast: MP3 Bible study by Dr Robert Aboagye-Mensah from Ghana (PART 2)

This podcast is the second a pre-recorded Bible study of Dr Robert Aboagye-Mensah, the Presiding Bishop of the Methodist Church of Ghana. I posted the first one earlier this week, so please just scroll down to find it and download it.

The theme of the first Bible Study was "Come Holy Spirit, heal and transform Your Church". This second Bible Study asks the question "What will a Church look like that has been healed and transformed by the Holy Spirit?"

Please feel free to leave comments!

You can download the podcast here (10.5MB)

Technorati tags: podcast, Bishop, Methodist, Ghana, digitaldion