Be a servant, and be free.

In recent months I have become quite fond of tumblr - of course it is the people that one follows that make tumblr so worthwhile. One of the people whose posts most resonate with my own theology and spirituality is invisibleforeigner. I find such depth, encouragement and challenges in the posts from this person.

Today invisibleforeigner posted the following deeply challenging quote:

Be both a servant, and free: a servant in that you are subject to God, but free in that you are not enslaved to anything – either to empty praise or to any of the passions. Release your soul from the bonds of sin; abide in liberty, for Christ has liberated you; acquire the freedom of the New World during this temporal life of yours. Do not be enslaved to love of money or to the praise resulting from pleasing people.

Do not lay down a law for yourself, otherwise you may become enslaved to these laws of yours. Be a free person, one who is in a position to do what he likes. Do not become like those who have their own law, and are unable to turn aside from it, either out of fear in their own minds, or because of the wish to please others; in this way they have enslaved themselves to the coercion of their law, with their necks yoked to their own law, seeing that they have decreed for themselves their own special law – just when Christ had released them from the yoke of the Law!

Do not make hard and fast decisions over anything in the future, for you are a created being and your will is subject to changes. Decide in whatever matters you have to reach a decision, but without fixing in your mind that you will not be moved to other things. For it is not by small changes in what you eat that your faithfulness is altered: your service to the Lord of all is performed in the mind, in your inner person; that is where the ministry to Christ takes place.

— St. John the Solitary, Letter to Hesychias

This is a very challenging way to live - to live as a servant and to live as a free person. Our world encourages us to live as free Lords, Lords of our own destiny and making, not as free servants.

Over the last four years I have struggled to choose the path of service - perhaps it is because I am so addicted to being a 'Lord'. I qualified early in a unique and interesting discipline. I was afforded great opportunity and favor within the Church. This was not good for me. My ego sought the recognition and affirmation that others gave. I soon realised that I was becoming less and less Christ-like as I lived the life of a Lord, instead of the life of service, living like Jesus. So, I took up a post that called for service. I decided to give my energy, training and ability to serve the ideas of others. I dedicated myself to helping other people to become the best that they could be. It has often been a challenging journey.

My wife and I were wise enough to make some small commitments that have helped us. We have turned away opportunities for greater earning capacity - simply stated we did not want to be owned by money. We want to be free to respond to God's call to ministry, wherever and whenever it may come.

It is not always easy. But, we are striving to be free servants - choosing to serve. Sometimes we get it right. Often we don't.