Don't cherish your pain...

This week Megan and I went for a session with a local play therapist. It too the form of an interview to prepare the therapist for some time that she will spend with our little girl Courtney.

After Courtney's diagnosis, surgery and treatment for her brain tumor we considered that it may be a good idea for her to have some help in processing what she has been through.

Cancer can be scary for a person of any age, can you imagine what a challenge it is for an 11 year old?

Also, we have picked up that Courts is asking one or two difficult questions and has been working through the events of the past three months.

It was a tough meeting - Megan was quite emotional. It broke my heart. We spoke about our own sense of helplessness as parents. How we had wished to be able to remove the pain, calm her fears, and take the hardship upon ourselves. We also spoke about the joy, and guilt, that we felt with her diagnosis. She is better! Yet, there are some who are not.

But, I do know that this is part of the process of dealing with the wound. It will be better. Nothing worthwhile comes without some struggle. We certainly experienced this, first hand, as we celebrated Liam's 4th birthday this week. Indeed, the first four years of his life have also had their fair share of difficulty.

Then, on Friday evening we visited with some friends. Etienne Piek, a close friend who currently heads up the Global Day of Prayer (he is leaving to work with 24/7 Prayer in London in a few weeks), was there. And so was my friend Cois, the head of Pneumatix (a media and arts training academy in Somerset West). The three of us were sharing some of our challenges around the fire. Etienne is having to be away from his family quite a bit. Cois has faced some challenges with the credit crunch. And I spoke about the session with the play therapist.

Etienne made a remark that has stuck with me. He said 'Be careful that you don't cherish your pain too much.'

These are wise words. I think if I understood his statement correctly he was warning all of us not to become too dependent upon the sympathy that comes from suffering, and the sense of 'righteous suffering' that we often feel when we face hardships. Indeed, I have experienced both in abundant measures. People have lovingly care, and I have felt sorry for myself and my family.

Of course the reality is that there does come a time when one must 'turn one's face into the storm' and sail forward. I feel that this December will be a time for me, and our family, to connect, have fun, and look beyond the challenges of 2010 towards 2011. I doubt that we shall ever be completely free from the hollow feeling that we felt as we went through the last few months, but I do know that we cannot allow that to stop us from enjoying the blessing of life in abundance! We need to be careful that we don't get stuck in the past, stuck in our struggle, and in so doing miss out on our glorious and blessed present!

I know that there are many others out there who have faced far greater struggle than we have, perhaps the death of a child, the suffering of a wife or husband, or the personal struggle with a terminal illness. How have you coped with the emotions, and fears, that go along with these events? I'd love to hear your input and feedback!