Dealing with difficult people without getting hurt or causing hurt!

Over the last little while I have found myself doing a lot of conflict resolution and relationship guidance – it seems that as we grow weary (towards the end of the year) we all need a little encouragement to be more gracious towards others, and conscious of our own shortcomings in work, family and other relationships!

So, this episode of my radio program 'The Ministry and Me' discusses 'Dealing with difficult people without getting hurt or causing hurt!'

The book that I mention is John Ortberg's book 'Everybody's normal until you get to know them' (Published in 2003 by the Willow Creek association).

Here's the link, as usual this is a sneak preview.  Please could I invite you to visit Radio Pulpit at http://www.radiopulpit.co.za and vote for the show?  Also, for those of you who live outside of the Radio coverage range (elsewhere in South Africa or the world), you can listen to the live stream from the website.  As always I'd love to hear your comments and feedback!

http://www.spirituality.org.za/files/RadioPulpit/Forster6Dec09.mp3

Comments

[Reformed and Renewed]

Dealing with difficult people while not hurting them or getting hurt? This is a very nice sentiment. What do you do with people who are constanly critical and seem to have no need to give forgivenss when it is asked for?
I am afraid I dont hav so much confidence in the nice-ness of human nature anymore. As somoene said "the more people I meet the more I like my goldfish'
regards
Simon

[Grant]

Dion

I'm confused.

So my greatest problem is that I'm weird?

[digitaldion (Dion Forster)]

Hey Simon and Grant,

Thanks for the comments guys!

Simon, I'm sure your sentiment is shared by many of us in some form or another. However, there must be some space in which we take responsibility for our feelings towards others and choose a healthy and responsible Christian approach to them. I do agree that at times it may well be that we 'depart with peace' (like Jesus suggests in Luke 10).

Grant, yup, that's your problem... You're weird ;-) Ha ha! Of course that's my problem too! Over the years I have come to see that people tend to fall into to very broad categories of self perception, they either consider themselves as the ONLY normal ones (and all others are wrong or strange), or they think they are the only abnormal ones (and everyone else has it together while they don't).

The reality is that we all have elements of strength and weakness, aspects of our personality that help us to relate and aspects that cut us off from others. Our uniqueness could make us seem 'weird' to ourselves and others. The point of the program is to suggest that we face that reality with courage and honesty (I am strange in some ways, and my uniqueness accentuates the strangeness of others). However, as a Christian I have a responsibility to understand what aspects of my personality and socialization are sinful, or not in keeping with the character of Christ and the values of God's Kingdom, and working at changing those. The outcome is to fulfill an aspect of our nature, namely to foster strong, healthy and real relationships with God, with other persons, and even with ourselves.

Until we honestly face ourselves, and grow secure enough to honestly understand others (and even cut them a little slack), we will never overcome our sense of alienation in the world.

But in your case... Yes, you're weird! ha ha! Oh, but let me mention again, so am I!

Blessings,

Dion